We’ve entered the lull between Halloween and Thanksgiving, that bit of quiet before the bustle of the holidays truly begins. This weekend I’ll take down the fake cobwebs and pack my skulls and spiders away for next October, making sure that my Christmas decorations are pulled to the front of the garage for easy access in a few weeks. We’ll travel to Napa to be with my family for Thanksgiving, and it will be good to be home for a few days. We’ll come back and I will decorate this house for Christmas, and we’ll work through all the difficult feelings that are sure to come. I will be strong for the BF, and for me, and we’ll get through.

In order to get there I will spend the next two and a half weeks being very gentle with myself. I’ll take all the alone time I need, and I’ll nourish myself with good food, exercise and yoga. I will walk the dogs, and do the laundry. I’ll write, and I will sleep. And I will enjoy the company of friends. I make this pact with myself tonight, because I realize that I’ve slipped into a sad place over the past few weeks, and I know why. I also know how to push back, how to climb out. And it’s time that I do so. There has been so much loss in the past 12 months, I will not lose myself as well.